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| Wednesday, December 03, 2003 - 11:22 pm |
The Avalonian Coalition of Evil Geniuses has announced the initiaion of "Phase two" of Project Daedulus.
The meaning of this statement is unkown, as both the existence of the coalition and the nature of 'project daedulus' are a complete mysteryu to the associated press.
What IS known is that the legions of the country and of her alies have mobilized and are preparing to mount a massive military offensive against neighboring empires. Curfews have been imposed, recruitment units scour villages for any and all able-bodied personnel, and masszive floods of fresh-faced soldiers flow into the country every month.
Due to the entanglement of world-spanning alliances, it is expected that large portions of the entire planet will become involved in the conflict, and analysts expect political, social, and military chaos and tension for years to come.
Opinions in the empires over the validity of the war vary widely, but support is overwhelming (according to recent report authoerd by the Department of Lies, Damn lies, and public opinion).
Reports from the Imperiums praetorian stratgic division report that the conflict is expected to be long and bloody, and that peace of any sort is not to be expected for many months to come.
A statement from the Ambassadod to the Erehwonian empire and the Asgard Coaition listed a number of grievances in the official declaration of war, including:
1. The recent unprovoked declaration of war by the UN security council on 'lament of lorien', a newly consolidateed colony of the Avalonian empire, formely under the control of the infmaous norwegian elk
2. The attacks upon this colony and 2 other ex-members of the Kingdom fo the Elk, which killed many thousands of innocents and resulted in massive damages.
3. The failed attempt at invasion of the avalonian homeland perpetrated by the erehwonian empire, and later hastily diplomatically patched up.
4. The dicovery of the infmaous Sonny "the Kneecap" Jones, AKA, the crapper, engaging in a massive espionage operation based out of the accomodating commodes Toiletry corporation. Upon being questioned, this agent of crime claimed he had been sent by the Erehwonien government in an attempt to assess the security status of the avalonian empire.
He has since been built into the wall of the most recently constructed prisoner of war internment camp, and is expected to cause little trouble.
The empereor himself has been virtually sient throughout the storm of activity, and when asked about the justification for the war said only "This conflict is not about conquest, and its reasons go far deeper than mere political grievances. It is an effort to rebuild the political structure of the world, and to create a New World Order. I do not expect my enemies to understand, and elaborating any further would be counterproductive."
In an unrelated note, 1 thousand tons of bat guano (aka, 'poo') were shipped by the emperor to the governmt of perlamo for reasons unknown.
OT: Good luck all
| Thursday, December 04, 2003 - 08:15 am |
Main Temple Complex, Blackrock Spire
Violence erupted today in the Main temple complex of Blackrock Spire during a meeting of key members of the Hordes High counsel as well as the chieftains of clans both local and abroad. Within minutes of the gatherings start Armal Dun, chieftain of the Blacktooth Grin Clan was challenged by his second in command Zeol . After a brief investigation our reporter has come to the conclusion that a lighting malfunction was the cause of the unneeded bloodshed. According to eye witnesses the problem was nearly resolved by civilized conversation until Zeol in a rage pointed out that his shadow was in fact bigger then the warlords so he should rule. Shortly after a trial by combat was initiated and in mere moments the Blacktooth Grin Clan found itself in need of a new second in command.
The actual meeting once started barely lasted an hour. Shortly after the first of many messengers where sent from the temple to sound the alerts. The beating of war drums and the screaming of young orcish warriors could be heard throughout the clans territory. The horizon filled with a thick smoke from the blacksmiths' shops.
The newly appointed war chief Mer'Nok approached the top of the temple to make an announcement. "The tide of war is upon us again brothers! Arm yourselves and prove your worth!!"
Reports now show that Chieftain of the recently acquired Warsong Clan has stated they will not aid the Horde in there bloodshed. Nor will they supply weapons or troops as the other weaker clans have promised. Mer'Nok's only comment was they Warsong Clan are cowards and traitors and will be dealt with when the time comes.
| Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 04:53 pm |
The young went running through the side streets yelling to everyone, "The Great One has returned! The Great One has returned!" People went from their homes to the main boulevard to see what was going on.
Heading slowly towards the Presidential Palace was a black Volvo which the crowd through palm fronds in the path of. It stopped right before the gate. Stepping out and picking up a bullhorn was Henry Ryto, former President of Mercantile Dictatorship, former ruler of the Mercantile Empire.
He addressed the crowd, "Brothers, the world war I predicted and feared has consumed Golden Rainbow. Many good countries and Presidents have gone down, including my former empire.
Having heard the change in international law that allows countries to foreswear war and be immune from attack, I have agreed to accept the Presidency of The United States of Madras. [Loud Cheering] Henceforth, this country shall be the Catholic Zone of Civilization and Prosperity (CZCP). [More cheering] As a peaceful, neutral country, and having expierience in GR conflict resolution, our Foreign Ministry and the Presidential Office itself shall be available as mediators. [Applause]
Right now, our economy needs plenty of work, plus there's the basic national planning to do. (Points towards the Palace behind him.) Let me go inside and get started. [Loud Cheering]." He then got back into the Volvo, which slipped through the gate.
Many former Mercantile imperial officals are reportedly en route to the CZCP hoping for employment in the new government.
| Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 03:31 am |
[One player sent me a "Welcome Back!" message telling me RP has been quiet without me. So by Popular Demand....]
President Ryto sat at the Cabinet Room table. He had the empty dinner dishes pushed to the side, and various government documents all over the place.
In walked Doug Hastings, the former Finance Director of Mercantile Beach. The President got up, "Long time no see!" They exchanged a warm handshake. Hastings replied, "We all went for cover when the Syth attacked". The President at first whinced, then shrugged, "That seems like a lifetime ago."
He then returned to the table, motioning Hastings to sit down. He then tossed to Doug a copy of the CZCP Shares Report. "You see what the morons were buying?!? Some worthless corps, and - even worse yet - arms corps Shares! Arms corps! Everyone knows you can't make money producing arms, but they bought Shares in several of the corps. Effectively they were simply pouring United States of Madra tax dollars into those corps as a subsidy. Wish the clowns were still around so we could investigate them for kickbacks. Since this country was a C3, not only were they subsidizing non-allied arms production, but the arms could have been used to seize this place as a colony.
Doug, I'm giving you the Ministry of Finance." "Thank you, sir", Hastings replied. The President continued, "In some categories you had Mercantile Beach ahead of Mercantile Dictatorship. I never expected to see a colony pass the mother country.
Overall finances? MoF projects a $600 million surplus for 2150, and that's before the new corporations come online and we upgrade the old ones. Many products are now in acute shortage that we were good at.
The downside is that we have many lousy corps leftover that we'll have to close in due course and pay off the debt on.
Those guys out there having a world war? It's not our problem anymore. Of course, we'll mediate if they want us to. However, most of the newer Presidents can't fire enough rounds of ammo in a day to keep themselves happy. Then, their countries' economies drag along because SO much of their manpower is in the military. Heck, the bigger ones have more than twice as many men under arms than Mercantile Beach ever had, more than Mercantile Dictatorship ever had. While they're getting their thrills in such a bizarre fashion, we'll produce the corporate and consumer goods they can't live without. They need us alot more than they realize."
| Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 05:06 am |
Shadows cast by the harsh light of surveillance monitors deepened the hardened lines of Emperor Grey's intent face. Deep in the dark Fortress of his rich and powerful empire, a small smile snuck into the corner of his mouth. "Weapons corps don't make money, eh? It would appear our newly returned President will be re-learning some things soon. The world has changed my friend."
| Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 09:14 pm |
"thinks he can beat everyone else's post by lightyears ahead"
In a raid conducted earlier today thousands of pounds of crack were suspected to be held in a residential area. Unfortunately during the Raid the suspects Set fire to the building, destroying the evidence, and getting the police so drugged up they couldn't give chase. All suspects have escaped and are not expected to be found. 57 police officers were too high to get out of the burning building, 1,536 civilians and 145 police officers were exposed to harmful amounts of crack smoke.
Also you may recall that earlier this week a frightened 17 year old boy called police stating that the building at 324 North main st, Louisville, TKE was on fire. It turns out the building was a burlesque house. That was filming a porn movie at the time, when the light fell down broke and lit fire to the mansion. When police arrived customers, and dozens of naked women were found running from the building. It turns out the place was also running and illegal Prostitution shop there. Among the people found at the scene were the Govener of Louisville Don Katell, and our beloved leader Duban. Charges have been brought apon Mr Katell, and our beloved leader states that he was only passing by and was attracted to the fire to watch. It was belived untill one of the prostitutes with Crabs said she made out with Duban on multiple occasions, later docter Robert E. Patel admitted treating duban with crabs, but Duban has used his power as leader to get away with another crime.
| Tuesday, December 16, 2003 - 02:35 am |
CZCP Ministry of Foreign Affairs
June 25, 2150
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
The CZCP, as a peaceful, neutral country, makes the following diplomatic overtures:
1. A moritorium on player vs. player wars.
There are a myriad of C3s for those who look for conquest.
2. For any outstanding conflicts, we invite the warring parties to Geneva, CZCP (east southeast of the capital, on the sea) for talks and mediation.
3. An international cap of a maximum military of 1.6 million* per country
*1. WC3 wanted to limit population to 20 million per country.
2. Severe economic problems happen with putting more than 8% of a country's population under arms.
3. 20 million X 8% = 1.6 million
| Monday, December 22, 2003 - 09:54 pm |
President Ryto addresses the nation via television, radio, and the Internet on March 10, 2152:
"Fellow citizens, I speak to you this evening pleased to announce victory in Phase I of the National Economic Plan. At this time:
1. Monthly production is worth more than twice as much as when I took office.
2. Employment is now 93.95%.
The old Mercantile economies ran at 96-98%. We'll be there soon.
3. Our Finance Index has risen each of the past 4 months.
We have also done much for the nation's infrastructure, as the Transportation system is nearly complete, and the Education and Health systems are pushing forward full steam ahead.
In Phase II:
1. We'll begin raising Social Security payments again, temporarily held at 50% until our finances were solid enough to increase them.
2. Trying to raise the value of our state corporations so we can IPO them to become Country-Controlled Public Corporations.
3. Selling 49% of the Shares in the CCPCs to raise money to pay down the national debt.
4. Completing the Health and Education systems.
Today about 30% of our trade is on the Local market, with over 4% with our Kemi Club trading partners. Only 65% of our trade being on the International market gives us some cushion against the ongoing world war.
We are moving forward, and we will never retreat again. Good night, and God bless you all."
| Friday, December 26, 2003 - 05:44 am |
CZCP Ministry of Finance
January 13, 2153
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
The government of the CZCP formally announces the abolition of the 2% Corporate Tax surtax that was put in place by the current government when it came to power in order to finance national construction. The Corporate Tax rate in the CZCP is now the 30% international benchmark rate.
Once conditions allow the State Corporation profit payment to be reduced to the 20-25% range (from the current 49%), the government plans to cut the Corporate Tax rate to below 30%.
The CZCP aspires to be a major player in international finance and commerce. Such tax reduction is a core element in creating a business-friendly enviroment in the CZCP for State Corporations, Country-Controlled Public Corporations (CCPCs), and Private Corporations.