| Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 03:58 pm |
The Erehwon Imperial Bureau of Taxation, Excise and Organized Extortion today announced that tax rates across the Empire were reduced for the fifth consecutive year. Collector in Chief, Sonny "Kneecap" Jones, told a press conference, "Our economies are booming and the revenue is rolling in so we are giving something back to our corporations and the marks... I mean, the citizens who work there so productively."
| Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 04:41 am |
Today the Zodiac Criminal Justice Department (CJD) announced the formation of their new and highly touted war on crime. Specifics are unknown at this time but it is believed that one Sonny "Kneecap" Jones AKA "the Capper" is a primary suspect and is purported to be involved in a scheme to defraud the legitimate corps of several feds, including Erehwon. Agents are presently investigating a possible change in alias as it is believed that suspect has changed his/her from "Capper" to "Crapper" in recent days. Of course, Zodiac True-News (ZTN) will keep it's loyal followers informed of any and all updates.
| Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 05:41 pm |
Criminal charges were filed January 12, 2146 against three former top executives at New Orleans Services 02 for allegedly acting as middlemen for hedge funds in an illegal late-trading scheme that cost investors $14 million. Former New Orleans Services 02 CEO Donald Banks, former President Danna Williams and former senior vice president of New Orleans Services 03 Peter Paul were charged with grand larceny, falsifying business records and securities fraud under the stateís NO Stealing Act. All three had left the firm after allegations of improper trading surfaced in December of 2145.
"If convicted of the most serious charges, they could face nine to forty years in prison",the country's Attorney General stated.
The People's Investment Commission simultaneously filed civil charges against the former executives and the firm, and the New Orleans Treasury Departmentís Office of the Comptroller of Currency has also begun an enforcement action that could dissolve the company.
| Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 06:36 pm |
Despite the prospect of shortfalls in the country's budget, a major teacher union is aiming to win annual pay raises totaling six thousand dollars per teacher and nine thousand dollars per university teachers over the next three years. Raises proposed by the New Orleans Federation of Teachers would cost 345 million dollars total for 2146, 2147, and 2148.
The proposal, unveiled at the NOFT convention in French Square, comes at a time when New Orleans faces major financial problems next year, including a budget shortfall of at least 250 million dollars and possibly much more. The pay proposal won easy approval of NOFT delegates after a brief, technical discussion. There was no talk on how to finance it, but educators said that they're optimistic pay will go up because New Orleans need teachers.
| Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 07:58 pm |
In jackle land last month there was a shortage of Butter!,to which the minister of Agriculture and exports Senator B.f.Heffer had no explination. It was later discovered "due to government enquiries that Senator Heffer had horded all of the missing dairy products too his estate in Kambrook where he had used all of the butter for his gay underground s&m club . He was later trialed and executed later that day for his sick and perverted ways and for the missuse of butter.
| Thursday, November 27, 2003 - 07:48 am |
Residents in the ephemeral vacuum rioted again Monday in the second straight day of protests after being relegated to 11th on President Phaedrus's official list of Slaves to Check In On. Reportedly, the residents of the 19M pop slave country, recently conqered by Emersonia 'n' Friends, are angry at being left with below-par corps such as Corn and Plastics while more prosperous nations get the decent companies.
President Phaedrus expressed his desire that the bums quit their whining and join the army.
| Thursday, November 27, 2003 - 07:50 am |
In further news, neighbors of the ephemeral vacuum began wondering how the hell President Phaedrus managed to take the nation without it incurring any damage whatsoever.
| Thursday, November 27, 2003 - 12:14 pm |
Newsflash - Turmoil at the Heads of State Banquette.
Following a significant fall in the ratings (Down 54 to 401) the people of Pawnking I expressed their concern in the leadership of their heartless dictator, Vladimir Krushtkov, who appears to be raping the country for everything it has got.
One reporter quipped, "its a sad day that the children of Pawnking I have no schools, no hospitals or infrastructure, and that every month some 25,000 are rounded up and sent away in train carraiges to an unknown destination".
A revolt has been coming for some years but the impoverished people of this land can only organise ad hoc vengeance attacks on the very factories that provide them with sustinence - oh the irony.
It is indeed a dark day for the long suffering people of Pawnking I.
In the distance a white flare followed by a delayed 'BANG' echoes from where once the brave reporter stood in this Realm of Terror
| Thursday, November 27, 2003 - 01:07 pm |
In Perlamo during the last months massive economic turmoil errupted. Just as the weak economy seemed to get back to working order and the workforce seemed to stabilize, a massive military buildup campaign started. Now thousands of mostly mid-level managers are doing their tour of duty in the officers corps, leaving blank spots in the nations economic sector.
Analysts are attributing the buildup due to recent tension between Perlamo and a longtime ally. Indeed the PDF (Perlamo Defense Forces) seem terribly outnumbered when compared to many neighbours.