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| Tuesday, March 16, 2004 - 05:23 am |
September 24, 2189
Spassky, Decambra Region of Centura Donna
Strange behavior has been reported by the officers of the Spassky army. Last week, in what was to start a grand advance into The United Colonies of Ogre, the officers did not obey the order from Nimz to attack. With the uselessness of the army, Nimz is trying to sell the Spassky military surplus.
It is supposed that the Spassky army might have been deafened by repeated gunfire, and simply did not hear the order. The claim that every officer lost hearing seems to be exaggerated, especially in light of the better than average health care in Spassky. Others think this might be one of the first symptoms of insanity.
Related disobediences include those concerning the closing of facilities during war. Upon review, it seems the Constitution of Spassky limits the power of the President during war, instead of expanding Presidential power. Apparently this is a check of power, since going to war is a constitutional right, not a privelege granted by a congress.
As a side note, people in Spassky are at 95.1% of the international standard rating for satisfaction with their lives.
Our next update will likely come from the continent of Eridana.
This is Shirley Bomming reporting for ECNN.
| Friday, March 19, 2004 - 06:31 am |
March 26, 2190
Spassky, Austral Bergo Region of Eridana
Today Nobody resigned as President of the country newly named Spassky. President Boy has moved all his effects and personal documents from Centura Donna to Eridana, the most important of which is his chessboard. When asked to comment on his recent move, here is what he said:
"I was starting to wear out my welcome in Decambra. With empire wide insanities hitting for the second time, I figured it was high time to pack my things to find a more sane region. The new Spassky has a considerably larger population than any of my previous countries, indicating that it probably hasn't gone insane recently. I had also been forceably removed from a country in Decambra, and I finally decided to take that hint.
"The citizens in my former empire (now with names THE US OF HELLS CHILDREN, Crapland, Moving to Eridana, and Northumberland) will surely miss my leadership, but I can potentially lead many more people to satisfaction and victory in my current location."
Some rumors have gone around that Nimz might be a ringleader in a fairly secretive society. These rumors have largely been dismissed, as they originate from the people who have been buying boats for this landlocked country. The latest hot phrase has been, "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you."
Spassky Times Reporter, Bal O'Nee
| Friday, March 19, 2004 - 09:15 pm |
| Friday, March 26, 2004 - 11:41 pm |
President Boy is asking the world a question of serious importance:
Who has Prawn crackers?
The edict has been ordered to find the vendors of Prawn crackers in order to sample them. Since President Boy was not on this world during the original Prawn cracker tour, he feels he has missed out on a notable experience. Anyone with any knowledge of the whereabouts of Prawn cracker vendors is asked to inform our president at 1600 Chess Street, Boris, Spassky.
| Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 12:55 am |
unfortunetly for President Boy, everyone has suffered mass insanity and can't remember what a Prawn Cracker is.
| Wednesday, April 21, 2004 - 08:00 pm |
Except the insane Emperor of New Berlioz who has been hoarding Prawn Crackers for 100 years in his Imperial Palace.
| Friday, April 23, 2004 - 01:29 am |
The Emperor of New Berlioz was obviously already insane when the mass insanities hit? At any rate, it's been almost 5 years since the edict went out--much has changed, including the Presidential address (now he's across the street at 1599 Chess Street). Prawn crackers are old news. President Boy is now looking for Slurm.