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Simcountry is an Online Digital World where you are the President of a country.
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Anti-UCF Death Camp Found in Former Plano (White Giant)

Simcountry: Simcountry Bulletin Board  Anti-UCF Death Camp Found in Former Plano (White Giant)

John Gresham (White Giant)

Thursday, January 20, 2005 - 09:53 pm Click here to edit this post
ICNA - Iron Curtain News Agency Special Report - ICNA

Confronted by critics in a press conference this morning, the leader of Iron Curtain lashed out. "These people are nothing more than gnats biting at the heels of giants; among the simcountry heads of state we have an oversupply of immaturity, idiocy, and intellectual bankruptcy. Further, these nattering nabobs of negativism smell like urine," remarked the embattled leader.

Some have charged recently that John Gresham has betrayed himself as a person who masturbates overmuch. When reporters asked him to respond, he simply said, "Ummm... no comment." Evidence found earlier seems to indicate that an agent code-named "The Jackle" had actually caught the president red-handed-- well, fisted-- jerking off onto the unnamed agent's mother and all over her bedroom, as well as the hall outside, though she had licked that amount up by the time this "Jackle" had arrived. This seems to be the most apparent explanation of the recent graffiti describing excessively violent fantasies perpetrated against the President of Iron Curtain; a psychological need to feel avenged. Authorities have reported that they have taken "The Jackle" into custody, though that hasn't been substantiated by hard physical evidence. Some soft physical evidence was produced, but dental records will have to be examined to identify them.

Evidence of the president's wanking habits have cropped up in many other places; there doesn't seem to be a single architectural surface in Iron Curtain that doesn't contain some amount of the President's DNA. Some engineers estimate that some of the additional structural strength of the president's personal jet is due to a coating of semen that acts like the paste in particle board.

In other news, a relatively new player on the world stage, Kyle Sandborn, said something dumb that no one of any worth listened to, and the heads of state of random lesser nations engaged in a drunken brawl.

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