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American Election

Simcountry: Simcountry Bulletin Board  American Election

Sam Houston (White Giant)

Saturday, September 6, 2008 - 04:32 am Click here to edit this post
{Stirring Patriotic Music plays}

{Zoom in to Sam standing at a podium}

Vote Sam Houston in 2008!

I will rule you all with an iron glove and a velvet fist..Or something like that.

Now my platform.

1. All political parties are banned unless they involve nudity, alcohol, and police raids.

2. Pants are illegal on Saturdays.

3. Beer will be added to the food pyramid.

4. Any person caught recycling, riding a bicycle, eating tofu, or driving a Prius will be given 50 lashes with a baby seal.

5. Political discussions are forbidden unless held inside a cage for a television audience. After the first ten minutes weapons may be used and this discussion will be to the death.

6. Political Protests will be forbidden unless the group protesting is really hawt. I mean smoking. If Playboy Playmates have an issue with the Houston Presidency please bring it to my person attention... :)


7. Work will now begin promptly at 8:05am and end at coffee break. And yes fishing counts as work.

Read my lips! No new Taxes! No Old Taxes!

All my taxes live in Texas!

Hear me and fear my brutal commands!

Vote for Sam Houston in 2008 or I will eat this poor defenseless kitten!

/Holds tiny little kitten up to camera and it meows softly.

{Zoom in to terrified kitten ....and fade to black}

This announcement paid for by the Committee to Elect Sam

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